Fall forever? Please?

Right around this time of year, two years ago, I started this blog.

It was fall, and I felt warm inside. I wanted my own little corner of the internet. A place I could colour in and edit, use as I like.

And here I am two years unwiser, a much better cook/baker, yet just as sappy and sentimental with my pros.

Hm. Fall.

How is it that I write about it every year, without fail, and never feel content with the way I've described it? It always seems to be one step ahead of me, this sneaky season. And yet I take so much comfort in aimlessly trailing behind it, trying to keep myself as close as possible to it before it runs away and I'm suddenly knee-deep in snow and missing sunshine. Winter makes me feel like a plant craving water: all bent over and lifeless, looking forward to the spring as though I'm not really sure if it'll make it back this year. But this year is going to be a little different: I get to spend December camping out under a shady coconut grove, yoga-ing, quite literally, from sunrise to sunset, and coming back to this city as a certified yoga teacher in the new year.

As my dear friend Devin said,

"Seriously Marls, you're gonna transform into a lotus bud or something after all of this".

Wouldn't that be a surprise?

So what have I been up to? Fall. It's the beginning of November, what else could you possibly expect...

A little plaid...

A little hybrid squash which may or may not have required a butcher knife to cut open...

And some curiously large apples...

But if you know me, and I'm assuming you do, you'll know that I can't say it's truly fall until I've made a vegan pumpkin pie. Or two. These were for my floor potluck at work:

Vegan Pumpkin Pie

-1 8-inch or 9-inch unbaked pie crust (homemade or storebought)
-2 cups pureed pumpkin (or one 15-oz can)
-1 cup plain nondairy milk (soy is best, though coconut creates a creamier texture if you don't mind a little coconut flavour seeping through)
-3/4 cup sugar
-2 1/2 – 3 Tbsp cornstarch
-1 1/2 tsp cinnamon
-1/2 tsp ginger
-1/2 tsp salt
-1/4 tsp ground cloves
-1/4 tsp ground nutmeg

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Combine pumpkin, non-dairy milk, sugar, cornstarch, salt, and spices in a large bowl, and mix very well.
3. Pour into unbaked pastry shell, and bake for about an hour. Don't worry -the pie will firm up as it cools. Let cool completely on a cooling rack and refrigerate under plastic wrap for several hours before serving.
4. Scarf down and digest fall with utmost happiness -preferably with someone who makes you feel warm and fuzzy (and appreciates your baking skills).

Happy Fall!

Camping out in my mind...

Guess what I did?

Do it! Guess!

Nope, sorry.

I set up a tent, and camped in the woods for a week! All by myself!

Y'all, I haven't camped since I was three apples high. I've become a city girl, through and through. It may have taken me a whole lotta pre-trip pep talks from my forest-savvy friends, and an hour and a half to actually set the thing up when I got there, but by golly, it was one beautiful tent pitching! And it kept me dry and calm through not one, but two giant Laurentian thunder storms. So take that, #citygirlproblems!

Why, might you ask, would a blog-writing, cab-taking, idealistic lass like myself venture off into the woods by herself for a week?

Good question.

I went to a yoga ashram! And it was a lot cheaper to camp out than to stay in their cabins.

No, I didn't drink the Kool-Aid. However, I did do four hours of yoga and four hours of meditation each day! The yoga made me sore but strong, and the meditation gave my crazy dreams. Obviously I loved it and cried when I had to leave (almost).

An Ashram, for those of you who wouldn't touch yoga with a ten foot pole, is a magical place.

It's a place where people go, sometimes for a day, sometimes for years, to LIVE the yoga life. They live communally, all taking care of whatever needs to be done, with no worries about usual day-to-day struggles. It's a pretty spiritual place, but not in a religious way. More so in a... "I'm here to better myself, and work towards feeling as connected to who and what I am as possible".

Have I freaked you out yet?

If I have, you'll surely take this to be an adequate redeeming factor:

IT WAS ALL VEGAN!

There were a couple dairy options, but they were all extras -things you could add to your meal, but weren't already a part of it. It was a veghead's dream, not having to worry about the inevitable conversation...

"Um, excuse me, what kind of broth is this"
"Oh... Hmmm... I THINK it's veggie?"
"Okay. Well. Do you think you could find out for me?"
(waiter drudges into the back resentfully)

Then you feel guilty, and wonder if you should've just taken their word for it. Afterall, what you will eat if it isn't veggie.

Oh, It isn't veggie.

Ugh.

ANYWAYS. All of the herbs, and many of the veggies are grown and maintained on the ashram, and they threw together some really creative stuff while I was there, like:

-vegan mashed potatoes
-a coleslaw-type dish with slivered almonds, carrots, and beets
-a million variations of fresh herbal teas, like lemon and ginger, lime and beet (!!!), and raspberry-orange(which I happen to be sipping as I type this)

Every dish had interesting combinations of flavours, seeds I'd never heard of, and greens that had always sounded way too intense for me (dandelion root, anyone?). It was an enlightening week for my palette (and mind).

It also got me thinking a lot about health. If you've been reading my blog for a while now, you've probably stumbled upon the post about my (former) issues with body image and disordered eating. Naturally, when my mind begins to hover around topics of 'health', a million red flags pop up in my heart and I have to seriously evaluate the nature of these intentions. Is this just a disguise for trying to eat less? lose weight? distract myself? justify feeling shitty about something else? I really have to dig down and be honest. But this week brought something very new to the table. I found myself actually, genuinely thinking about HEALTH. About how good I felt on the ashram, and how I can bring some of that magic back to the real world.

Just FYI, the schedule at the ashram is as follows,

5:30am- wake up
6:00-8:00- meditation
8:00-10:00- yoga
10:00-11:00- brunch
11:00-12:00pm- karma yoga
12:00-4:00- lectures/free time/swimming/hikes/etc
4:00-6:00- yoga
6:00-8:00- dinner/hanging out
8:00-10:00- meditation
10:00- a very well deserved bed time

In other words, no TV or movies, no cell phones, no facebook, no creeping, no micromanaging, no nothing. Just doing things that are good for you, relaxing, and (sometimes) talking about what all of that means to you. Sometimes we were just silent. And that was great. I met a couple really awesome people, played with a lot of adorable yogic babies, and really let my mind settle.

You've probably heard my favourite meditation analogy?

No?

Okay I'll tell you (but only cause you asked...)

The mind is like a murky glass of water. When you let it sit still for a moment, all of the crap settles to the bottom, and can begin to see clearly. By just learning how to silence your mind for a while, you begin to take control of your thoughts, and learn how to stop your thoughts from taking you over. It's really phenomenal if you get into it.

So that is what I learned: mental/spiritual health is just as important as your physical health. And you really can't have one without the other. If you never eat a calorie over 1200 per day, and work out religiously, but are constantly stressed out about it -what's the point?

Similarly, you can't think clearly and feel healthy if you have a ton of undigested crap sitting in your body, regardless of how many hours you spend meditating or working on your inner-self. It may sound simple, but it made me smile, and for the first time in a very long time, feel excited about a health goal: furthering my peace of mind.

I think this goal is almost as delicious as my lunch: a salad with craisons, pumpkin seeds and walnuts, quinoa, and stirfried tofu, spinach, onions, ginger, sesame oil, and mushrooms.
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